Overcoming Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be the reason why you are still single or struggling to be in a committed relationship. If you often find yourself wondering where this relationship is headed, or there are periods of isolation instead of steady support, chances are you are stuck in an addictive cycle of emotional abuse. You constantly need to prove your worth to your partner and are on edge about the conflicts. If there’s an atmosphere of stress and uncertainty, the relationship will not be nurturing or healthy for you. By identifying your unhealthy patterns, you will feel empowered to make better choices. Here are some common signs and patterns to look out for:

Emotional Rollercoaster

Instead of being harmonious and nurturing, toxic relationships are all about the never-ending ups and downs. Your partner may be verbally and emotionally abusive, and try to make up again when they fear losing you. The cycle repeats and you find yourself dealing with the same problems all over again. Relationships are supposed to be healthy and emotionally satisfying, and you must be able to express your fear and doubts without it turning into a heated debate.


If your partner is a pathological liar and you catch them lying even about the little things, they may not be right for you. Give them the benefit of doubt and see if they are willing to change, but if this continues, you must leave and safeguard your wellbeing.


If your partner is cheating on you, it’s a sign that they are willing to hurt you and have no remorse for their behaviour. They may seek the comfort of a steady partner and still abuse your trust. If you feel your bond is a toxic one, ask yourself some tough questions, such as why are you still in it. It’s always best to get counselling to address your toxic partner and the trauma of surviving cheating.

Emotional Affairs

A faithful partner will never do things that will put your relationship at risk. If they seem too disinterested and are constantly hooked to chatting with someone else, it’s a sign you are being used and abused. Don’t believe their excuses or make excuses for their toxic behaviour.


If they constantly make you feel bad and are not happy about your accomplishments or make disparaging remarks, something is definitely wrong with the relationship. You need a partner who values your dreams, interests, needs and makes your happiness their priority.

Disrespecting your boundaries

Are they constantly controlling you and exerting their control by being physically or emotionally abusive? It’s not a healthy partnership if there is a power imbalance.

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Unhealthy Communication

A toxic relationship has many ups and downs because your partner may often ruin your mood with their words and actions. Even when someone gives you the silent treatment or ignores your messages, it’s a form of abuse. It’s an unhealthy relationship when:

  • – It makes you sad
  • – It affects your work
  • – They take you for granted
  • – You don’t feel comfortable sharing
  • – Doubts creep in too often or you question your own reality
  • – Instead of feeling loved, you feel empty

Identify Your Relationship Patterns

Do you find yourself dealing with the same situation or partner in all your relationships? Unhealthy relationship patterns are common for those who have been betrayed or neglected. The trauma repeats itself until we identify our patterns and do something about them. We need to make healthy choices. Define relationship boundaries clearly. If we accept bad behaviour, we will suffer. The choice is ours whether we wish to prioritise our own happiness or sacrifice it for the sake of unhealthy bonds. When we let go of negative patterns, we make room for happiness and good relationships to unfold in our life. 

Making Self Care a Priority

A healthy partner will always value and desire your well being. Their support will help you overcome life’s difficult moments, and all this is possible when both of you are equally investing time in self care and doing things that you love. Serving yourself instead of others is not selfishness. When you experience a mindset shift, breaking away from unhealthy relationship patterns is easier than you think.


The priority, in this blog, is to supply the reader with clear and unambiguous information. However, neither The New Me nor Gagan Dhawan makes promises, or guarantees regarding the completeness of the information found here. The content is not a replacement for advice of a licensed professional. The opinions expressed in this blog are solely that of the writer’s.

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