Highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience everything much more intensely. Everything in their life is amplified, be it romantic relationships or casual discussions with people. They think and process deeper, feel more and display a lot of compassion. They feel intense sorrow at others’ pain and may even cry when they see someone in distress. They’re estimated to make up as much as 15-20% of the population.
All that deeper processing of emotions and situations can be very exhausting for them. Trivial and little things might affect, overwhelm and even irritate HSPs as opposed to other people. For instance, the constant squeaking from someone’s shoes or the repetitive ticking sound of a clock might annoy them easily. Similarly, what others say or how they behave with them also affects them on a deeper level.
They might take offense to an unintentional offhand comment by their partner and be in a sulking mood all day. On the other hand, HSPs feel positive experiences very deeply. Words of appreciation or sweet gestures can lift their mood and self-esteem to immeasurable heights.
In short, even slightly negative words and experiences can anchor them down to the despairing depths of the ocean while positive words can be like helium filled balloons that lift them up to the sun.
If you’re not a highly sensitive person, it can be difficult to comprehend why your highly sensitive partner reacts a particular way in certain situations. HSPs may seem picky, fussy or overdramatic. However, when viewed from a different angle, they’re just highly attuned to detail, perceptive and empathetic.
Here are a few things to know to love your highly sensitive partner better:
- Yes to hugs, kisses and physical touch
Hug them tighter and kiss them deeper. HSPs yearn for their partner’s physical touch since it makes them feel safe and loved. They feel physical sensations including pain deeper than others. Even a gentle touch on their knee or thigh might be highly stimulating for them. Show your love for a highly sensitive person with touch.
It’s also good to think about all the senses if you want to make a HSP feel loved. For example, when it comes to massages, they need just the right kind of environment to indulge all their senses. An environment where the lighting is low, the sheets are soft and the music is tranquil along with a delightful scent. Such an experience literally makes them feel like they’re in heaven. - Check in with them
HSPs care a lot about their partner and close friends to the point that they forget to take care of themselves. They often go the extra mile to listen and help others. Seeing their loved ones in pain is unbearable for them. The greatest challenge for sensitive people is helping too much sometimes. You need to make sure that you understand and embrace the sensitivity of your highly sensitive partner. At the same time, try to help them maintain a healthy balance between giving too much and caring for themselves. Checking up on them regularly to make sure that they’re taking care of themselves is a good idea. - Quality time is their primary love language
HSPs happily spend a lot of time alone indulging in their vivid imagination and solitary hobbies. They don’t need 24/7 company or attention. Quality time is what they crave. They generally prefer going to quiet and serene places. Some of them might feel uncomfortable in very crowded bars or restaurants.
They put their entire soul into what they’re doing. If you’re having a conversation with them, they’ll expect your undivided attention and interest. They always sense when someone is distracted or multitasking, even during conversations on the phone. - Words of affirmation
A lot of HSPs often spend a majority of their life trying to conceal the depth of their emotions from the world. This is because they’ve been at the receiving end of remarks like “Don’t be so sensitive” or “Stop being sad over small things.”
So, words of affirmation work wonders for them. On the flipside, they can be a double-edged sword. HSPs appreciate when someone admires their sensitivity, passion and empathy. However, don’t think that you’ll get away with giving them generic compliments since HSPs are highly perceptive deep thinkers. They easily differentiate between fake and honest compliments. Moreover, they tend to remember detail-oriented compliments because it shows them how involved and observant you are. When you love a highly sensitive person, don’t forget to reassure them with words of affirmation as often as you can.
DISCLAIMER
The priority, in this blog, is to supply the reader with clear and unambiguous information. However, neither The New Me nor Gagan Dhawan makes promises, or guarantees regarding the completeness of the information found here. The content is not a replacement for advice of a licensed professional. The opinions expressed in this blog are solely that of the writer’s.
